Ever since I've moved to Eugene, there have been people who treat me like crap. In elementary school, I never had more than 2 friends at a time. Once I went to middle school, I met new people, aquired new friends, and life was good. There were still those from Fox Hollow who treated me like crap tried to make my life miserable. In high school, I met more people, made more friends, although, some of those people later started treating me like crap. I decided to ignore it. A lot of people didn't like me because they considered the things that I do annoying. IS IT MY FAULT THAT I WAS RAISED IN A CONSERVATIVE RUSSIAN-JEWISH ENVIRONMENT?! I decided to pay no attention to that as well. In sophomore year, there were freshmen that joined the group that I hung out with. In the past few months, I began noticing that I don't really "hang out" in this group, more like "linger", hoping that someone might pay attention to me. But, I don't have that good of social skills. I began to realize that I don't have that many friends, and I never really did. I began consulting a few of my closest friends about it (sorry, if it annoyed you, Cary!). Then, I was at the bus stop, when Heather took Devon's violing case and started swinging it around. I ran after her and grabbed it away, because violins are freakin' delicate! She yelled at me, saying that I piss her off. Then she said "Why don't you go away to your other friends?" Then Nick (the one with the pony tail) said "That's because he doesn't have any other friends." I'm not sure what happened after, but I think they started laughing. What they said hit me hard. I slowly walked away, trying to hold back my tears. It wasn't working. I asked Devon if I could talk to her. When we were away from everyone else, I started sobbing. I went into a breakdown. I lost control of my emotions. Devon helped me come back in control of myself, and she told me that I should stop hanging out with that group. At home, my grief turned into anger. I decided that I was sick and tired of people treating me like crap! I decided once and for all to stop pretending that they were all my friends. From hereon out, I am not talking to anyone in that group, save a few of them (Cary, Tristan, Liz, Hannah, and a few others). A few days after the incident, Heather saw me at the library and apologized. I said nothing to her. I hardly even looked at her. I did not forgive her. I am not forgiving her. I will not forgive her for a while. To the few friends that I have that might be reading this, I am not depressed. I am far from it. I realized that I can do much better than hang out with a bunch of immature kids that treat me like dirt. I am trying to find myself a new group of friends. If that doesn't work, I'll start being more solitary. It'll be hard, but that's life. My stream of conciousness ends here.